Stephen

Mom,

I remember distinctly you telling me that you didn't like the way I was treating you whenever I was acting like the smart-mouthed teenager that I was.  I don't know if I remember you saying this because you said it many times (as you probably would have had the right to), or because the few times that you said it just really grabbed me.  You didn't have any reservations about telling me, "Hey, I don't think I deserve that." You would say it with a matter-of-fact tone, because it was fact.  You didn't deserve it.  And it wasn't a matter of me "not knowing my place," as it so often is with adults who misunderstand our relative positions in the world.  It was a matter of how one human treats another.  I have thought often about the treatment that people are due, and how to respond when treated wrongly.  Your example has often guided my thoughts on both.

I also remember you coming and sitting on the floor once while Doug and I were engaging in one of our less constructive activities as middle school boys - watching professional wrestling.  I remember you actually taking interest in it, asking us the names of the wrestlers and what the background to the event was.  I know I've told you this before, but looking back on it, I recognize that you, being a mature adult, had no interest in professional wrestling for its own sake.  You were interested because you wanted to know us. The relationship was the valuable thing.  Anyone who has attended a party or a holiday at our house knows that you care about the event, but what we did was never more important than who we were with.  I know that, because you also taught me to be content just sitting on the couch talking about anything, but without "doing" a thing.  I hope that, in 35 years, I have picked up some of your ability to see the importance of people.

I remember one night being particularly overcome by a fear of venomous spiders.  It was only item on a long list of things that caused me anxiety.  Your advice was to the point.  "Son, you can choose to live your entire life afraid of these little things, and you'll be miserable.  Or you can let God worry about you and have a chance at enjoying your life."  It was exactly the blunt honesty that an overly-worried little boy needed.  I have since told myself and others the very thing.  If you didn't steal the thought from Abraham Lincoln, it only goes to prove the old saying about great minds.

I love that you never got sarcasm.  It never seemed to annoy us, because it just became fodder for another laugh.  We thought it was so hysterical when us teenage boys started heading for the front door, and you would ask Doug and I, "Where are you going?" and we'd reply, "To go get the booze and the hookers." only to hear you yell back, "You'd better not!"  Still makes me laugh.

I can't remember when our marathon talks started happening.  I think it was when I was in college and so homesick and confused about life that I didn't know what to do with myself.  I'm so glad that they've continued.  Whenever you visit, I can always count on getting less sleep than usual, because we'll find some topic to beat to death.  I wish I had recordings of the wisdom you've imparted during these conversations.  Please know that if I ever sound as if I am trying too hard to display my own wisdom (as I have the tendency to do), that it is only because you have set a fine example of being a person who is both informed and wise about it.  It's a shadow I don't mind walking in.  I can't wait to have many more with you, and I think that at least one of my children won't be long in wanting to make an appointment for one, also.

Happy Birthday, Mom.  I hope you realize how many people love you.

Stephen

Ellen,

There are so many things that I admire about you, but I think it's your wisdom and unconditional love that blow me away the most.  I'm so thankful to be in your family because I get the benefit of both of these traits on a regular basis.  I'm sure you have no idea how many times you have impacted the way I think about life just by a simple comment that you made.  Or how many times I thank God that you accepted me as your own daughter, from the very beginning of my marriage with Stephen, eleven years ago.  Thank you for truly embracing who God created you to be...he's using your advice, your hugs, your great laugh and your listening ears in wonderful ways. 

Love,

Joy

Doug

Mom, I've told you this before.  But when you were diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent treatment, I didn't make a big enough deal out of it.  By which I mean I didn't give you enough personal support and I didn't contemplate it enough.  I never really comprehended the impact you'd had on me or the effort you'd put into me, and I always took you for granted.  Well, having children changes your perspective in life quite a bit.  Our boys have only been with us a few short years, but I already recognize that they'll never know all that I do for them or all that I endure for them.  Looking back through those lenses, I can remember only a small fraction of what you've done because you love me.  Even so, it makes me feel grateful, and it makes me feel loved.  Here you are at sixty, and here I am at thirty-three.  You have an empty nest ... as of a few days ago.  I'm grown, I'm married, I have my boys, and I'm so glad you've been here to see all of it.  But you'll never stop being my mom.  You will never not feel compelled to be there for me.  I know I can't repay you, so I'll say thank you and I love you.

Lydia

I really procrastinated writing this little note because it seemed like an overwhelming task; to write down some thoughts or memories about you! So instead of getting too emotional (like I need that, now), I will try and write a few of the more humorous points of our relationship.

Thanks to nature or nurture (who knows?) I got a lot of my personality from you. Knowing this is very helpful when it comes to every day life. For example, I know never to call myself when I get into a car accident. I will only tell myself what I don’t want to hear like, “well, that is going to cost you a lot of money.” The two of us can also be very different. No one could forget all of those beautiful dresses you made me when I was little. You know, the ones that I refused to wear? I think at the age of six, I gave the excuse, “It will make me look pregnant.” Of course, I guess that means we are both extremely opinionated, but sometimes our opinions aren’t the same. P.S. I am very glad you have two granddaughters that love to wear those dresses, now!

Even though I feel like I can sometimes be Zedler on the outside and Tuffly on the inside, there are still things about you that make me say, “I want to be like that!” Growing up, you were such a role model for us, even if you were completely unaware of it. So much so, in fact, that we were all afraid to listen to music or watch shows that we thought you would disapprove of. That is why I only sang Wilson Phillips in the shower when I was sure no one was listening. It is also really inspiring to think of how you got back into the workforce when we were all big enough to take care of ourselves to help pay for those boys’ private school education (just another reason I am pretty sure I am your favorite). You pursued something completely new and excelled at it.

I learned to never question several things about you: how much you loved me and cared about me. Looking back, if you could love me during the years of 1987 – 1992* (which, I think you did), I know your love for me is unconditional. And for that, I am extremely thankful! I also know that you care so much for my future happiness. Nothing showed me more than the two hours you spent questioning Tim when he asked if he could marry me, and then spending the next hour telling him all about me…and all of the great things he had to look forward to. =)

I rarely surprised you growing up, or you were just very good at hiding it. The one time I remember true shock and excitement from you was when I told you that I wanted to be baptized. I guess you helped me make that decision without even knowing it. In fact, I can attribute a lot of my spirituality and the tings I’ve learned to you. You explained to me one time that the commandment, “Honor thy father and mother” meant that I needed to live a life that pays tribute to the great job you did in raising me. I can only hope that I have accomplished that task. Thank you for your love and patience in my life. I am very thankful to have a mother and example like you!

Happy Birthday! I love you! Lydia

*In 1987, I turned 8 and Stephen turned 13. For the next five years, not a dinner went by without any arguing, whining or sarcasm between the two of us. We call them “the dark years”. And it didn’t stop until Stephen moved out for college. Graciously, God repaired our relationship and we are now very close.

Diane Husbands

Hi Ellen, Happy 60th Birthday!
I have always enjoyed our times together at church functions. You have always been a dear friend and a great example of God's love. There have been many good times spent with you. A few I can remember were at our small group dinners, showers, weddings and many church activities. One special memory I will never forget was our time at the ladies retreat. The four of us, Helen, Glenna, myself and you, stayed in a room together. It was my first time at a ladies retreat. It meant so much to have someone ask me to stay with them. The most memorable time at the retreat was the snoring that night. I'm not sure who was the loudest, but I now know women can snore. :) On Saturday we all jumped in the car and went out shopping. What fun! At the mall you introduced me to Talbot's. We waited out in the mall while you shopped. When you came out and showed us your outfits, I wished I had looked more in the store, but it was time to leave. The next week I went back and did some serious shopping. :) It was a lot of fun eating, shopping and laughing with Christian friends. Bill and you have always made Steve and I feel loved and welcomed whenever we spent time with you.
Have a great 60th Birthday! Keep in touch,

Your sister and friend in Christ, Diane

Kimberly McDonald

Ellen,

 You have always been a supportive aunt and wonderful role model for me.  When I think of you and your home, I think of Jesus and joy! 

 

Brad and I loved coming to your home when we were kids because there was always alot of laughter and fun.  Thank you for welcoming us into your home, so that we had the chance to know our mother's family.  Spending time with the Zedlers provided a precious understanding of the other 50% of my DNA and I am so thankful you and Bubba have always been a part of our lives. 

 

A memory that comes to mind is of Brad and me riding with your family to Arkansas to see family in your Suburban.  I remember listening to Amy Grant and having spiritual conversations.  I always knew where your family stood with your faith. 

 

Your childrens' character and lives tell alot about their mother.  Stephen, Douglas and Lydia have always been a joy to be around and have become such outstanding adults and followers of Christ.  Obviously, this is a result of the sacrifices you have made to provide everything they needed--physically, emotionally and spiritually.  I also remember how resourceful you have always been, making their costumes, birthday cakes, etc.!

 

You have been a wonderful role model for me as a wife, mother and follower of Christ and I love you and your family!  I am so thankful for your investment in my life!  Happy 60th Birthday!  May God continue to bless you!

 

Much Love,

 

Kimberly (and Brent, Bryce, Zach and Luke)

Desi Hoskison

I am sure I have a few funny stories to tell about Ellen, but that is not what is on my heart today.

I have to say what a precious friend she is.  She has mentored me for 8 years now.  Our friendship began when we had to share an office.  How can you be in close quarters with someone 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, and not get to know each other very well?  I am very grateful, I had to share that office with her.  She has encouraged me, pushed me, pulled me, chastised me and praised me.  Never has she given up on me, she has allowed me to find the confidence to try out my "thinking out of the box" ideas (that is no small feat in corporate America).  This confidence has allowed me to grow into the position I now hold in the law firm.  She taught me to learn and to realize we are all different.  To recognize your weakness can be offset by a great friend's strength.  Wow, what a team we make.   Happy Birthday Ellen !!!!!

Denise Shannon

I tried to send this to the happyhappybirthdayellen however I think you have to be smarter than the web site. I AM NOT !! SORRY. I am sure that you can send this for me.

I have been fortunate enough to call you my friend for lets say several years... I always wanted to grow up to be just like you, well I am grown and still not like you.
The things I admire most about you. You are never judgemental, a good mother, a wonderful wife, always loving and respectful of others feelings. I told Lydia before her wedding, the one trait I admire most about you is your ability to take a couple of people, lets say like (Bubba and Stephen) who are in an atlercation one likes red, the other green, you step in before we know it they love both colors, everyone leaves thinking they won. You smile, all is well.
I am crazy about you !!!!
Denise

Helen Hatley

Happy Birthday to my Dear Friend Ellen,
I admire you so much. You are beautiful on the outside but even more importantly, you are beautiful on the inside. You love the Lord and it shows. You are intelligent, love to laugh at a good joke, and are a wonderful wife, mother, and grandmother.

My favorite Ellen story happened at Park Springs Bible Church. Ellen and Bill were walking out of the sanctuary after worship service one Sunday morning and Ellen put her hand on Bill's behind -- at least she thought it was Bill's behind. It turns out it was another man's bottom. Ellen was very embarrased, but months later when that man joined Park Springs, his comment was on how "friendly" we were. Ellen will never live that one down.

Thanks, Ellen, for being a great friend. I love you.

Helen Hatley

Missy Allen

Happy Birthday, Ellen!
We had just moved to Arlington and I was going back to work. I only had one glitch. I needed someone to take care of my twins for 1 hour and take them to school everyday. As I inquired around town, the name Ellen Zedler kept coming up. I finally decided to call her. My first words to her were "Hi, you don't know me, but I think the Lord wants you to take care of my twins everyday." Ha! I bet that was quite a shock. What began that day grew to be a bond so strong with my kids that one night as I was putting Andrew to sleep he said, "Mom, when you die can I go live with the Zedlers?"

Ellen is a terrific lady. I asked my kids what their memories of her entailed. Abigail says she remembers the Christmas Eve parties where the kids got to dress up and re-enact the Christmas story. Andrew's memories were different. Apparently Ellen taught him the joy of dipping french fries into milkshakes...a delight that he still enjoys to this day! In addition, Andrew remembered the automatic windows on the suburban. That memory made me laugh because I can't remember NOT having automatic windows, but apparently we did. Those years were tough for me, but seeing Ellen's smiling face and hearing her encouraging words helped me to survive. Her friendship blossomed as she and Bill became involved in the Crisis Pregnancy Center with me. When my family moved to Bedford, we didn't talk as often and I miss that. But one thing I know for sure, her heart print is on the lives of Andrew, Abigial and Missy Allen.

Happy birthday, Ellen. The Lord has used you greatly to be a source of joy and encouragement to others. We thank him for the years that we were blessed by seeing you everyday. Thank you for your love for me and more importantly, my children.

You are the BEST, Ellen Zedler and I love you.

Love,
Missy

Malla Brandenberger

Ellen, Janice Lane, Malla & Sherrie Williamson @ DG Initiation Banquet, March 23, 1968

Ellen and Bubba @ Brandenburgers home at Point Venture 1972

Happy 60th Birthday, Ellen!

My goodness, how can we possible be this old? I still envision us as we were in the attached photos. Our days at UT were full of friendship, memories, laughs, challenges, studies (well, maybe just you hitting the books), support, tears, and growing up.

You were such a special part of Delta Gamma to me and rooming with you was always full of surprises. Remember bridge games, pledgeship (weren’t we co-pledge prank captains?), big and little sisters, girls climbing in and out of our window, families, sunbathing, sharing clothes, beach trips, and finally, Bubba and your engagement.

I have always considered you one of my closest friends, even though we live far apart and have not been together in many years. You always bring a smile to my face when I think of our shared college years. As the saying goes, thanks for the memories.

May we both remember that life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Let’s both keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits and embrace all the blessings life has bestowed upon us!

Have a very wonderful day and remember, I am still 59!!!!!!!!!!!

Love, Malla

Sheila Linehan

My dear Ellen
I was a scared high school freshman. Most of my close friends in grade school had gone to public school. I was shy and not sure how to make new friends. Then behind me in Algebra class there was this cute short blond who muttered to herself as she correctly solved the problems. Since I was not good at the subject, I listened!! That was just the start of a great friendship. You and I went through all the high school years with all the angst that teen aged girls have and survived to be great friends – I was so happy to be in your wedding to Bill. I have moved far away and we have not been able to see each other very often. We had great fun touring New England and I have enjoyed our short visits with Bubba and friends several years ago and I hope I can lure you and anyone you want to come to New England to see me again. Happy 60th and know that I will join you in the next decade of our lives in a few short months!! I have attached a scan of our freshman pictures and your note to me in our freshman year book – I will still assert that I am a wonderful girl and Sr. Beatrice would be so glad at your correct use of “whom”. I am especially so glad that you said we would be friends for years to come.

Much love celebrating the youth of old age
Your old dear friend Sheila

Brad Duren

Happy Birthday Ellen!!!
It has been wonderful having you as an Aunt and getting to spend time with you through the years. Whether in Houston at Papas' house, your house in Austin and Arlington, and of course we can't leave out Nordheim and New Braunfels, it brings back a lot of good memories and special times Kim and I were able to create thanks to you, Bubba, Lydia, Stephen, Doug,Mema and Papa.
One memory in particular I remember took place at your house in Austin. I was probably no older than 11 or 12 yrs. old and was already getting quite an appetite. I absolutely loved those cookies( I can't remember the name) that were rolled in balls and had crushed pecans in them and were covered with powdered sugar. Man, could I really polish those things off. I don't think you could bake them fast enough. That trip must have been Christmas because I also remember getting a radio that was in the shape of a oil can and the first song I heard was Barry Manilow singing "I write the songs".
Ellen, have a fantastic 60th birthday and we hope to see you and Bubba soon.
Love, Brad

The Burnetts

Hey Ellen, remember the time I met you when I stayed with Aunt Rose? We ate grapes all night long. Little did we know that you would hit the jackpot and marry Bill Zedler. Ha Ha. He sure hit the jackpot! We here in Arkansas wish you could come and celebrate with us! Hope you have a wonderful day on your birthday...remember we love you and wish you well Stacy and Ron Burnett (you are older than me)

Nancy Stillwell

"Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver, the other gold."
Ellen is one of my gold friends. We became friends over twenty five years ago through Child Guidance Study Club. We had many great times there and also at the Wimbleton Pool with our young children. Ellen is the type of friend that you could immediately be yourself and be transparent. She loves unconditionally. She's my Christian Sister and we are connected with a strong cord that will last for all eternity. My life has been richer for the gift of her friendship. I love you Ellen. Nancy
ps Great Memory-all of us dancing at Stephen and Joy's Wedding
Riding Bikes at Trinity Park, Vacationing in Mexico and Florida

Glenna Shepard

Happy Birthday, Ellen!
Ellen means the world to Tom and me. Tom and Ellen can go head to head anywhere at anytime and still come out close as ever.

Billy and Ellen and Tom and I have taken many trips together. Being together with Tom and Ellen in a car with Billy driving is a treat no one should miss. On our trip to Louisiana to see the antebellum homes near Baton Rouge. Tom, of course being a Yankee by birth, got real tired of paying money to go on tours where the guides kept talking about how the “Damn Yankees” destroyed the way of life in the south, but Ellen got him to go to all but one.

The other part of the trip was that Ellen was controlling the map. Ellen is planner and Tom is a “winger.” Tom had traveled the countryside as a salesman years before and knew the way pretty well. But Ellen has planned ahead to make everything go well. Ellen had planned the next to the last day of our trip very carefully, and Tom had decided to take the directions into his own hands. Now remember, Billy was driving. Now I want you know that when a man tells another man which way to go and his wife says another way—the man driving will go with what the man says. Billy would come to a corner and Ellen would tell him to go right and Tom would say left.

The next year we went to Michigan. Ellen never said a word about the directions the whole way up to Michigan. I finally asked her why. She said we were going to Tom’s home state, so he better know the way.
Glenna Shepard

Lawless Family

Happy Birthday, Ellen!

We hope that you have a really special day! You are so deserving of all the happiness that comes your way today.
I thank you for your mentoring friendship and for being someone that is so easy to talk to.
I look back at all the great times we had in Bible Study and MOPS. You have had a wonderful influence
on so many women at PSBC over the years. We can’t thank you enough!! Here’s to another 60 years!
Love, Kathy Lawless for the whole family

Beverly Akin

Happy Birthday!!!
You look wonderful!! I am praying for a birthday full of blessings!

I hope you know how much I respect and admire you. God has blessed me through you. I have used (and shared with others) the wonderful advice you shared on our park walks. I know the "walking" was beneficial, but it was the "talking" that helped the most!

You are amazing, and IF I ever get grandchildren, I am sure I will be coming to you for grandmother wisdom :)

HAPPY 60th!!!

Love,
Beverly

Rhonda Moody

What a wonderful day dear Ellen!!
WOW!! Has it been 30 years already?? You were 30 when I was 25 and new to the suburbs of Arlington, Tx. I still remember meeting you and Bubba at the Wimbledon Country Club pool and introducing ourselves and our son Gayle. You had little Lydia in a cute bonnet to keep the sun out of her eyes as all the boys swam together.

A few days later you called to ask if I would like to bring Gayle to play with Stephen and Doug...and we could have coffee or something. I almost freaked out!! Here I was, beginning to become a regular mom with other housewives for friends. I was so nervous to actually be on my own at your home, doing Mommy things and talking with a complete stranger. Isn't that silly? It makes me feel like I was so unexposed to homemaking and homemakers... Looking back, perhaps I really was. God had a wonderful plan for me.

It took only a matter of minutes to discover that you were going to be a great, great woman friend of mine. You and I spent hours with each other... talking, laughing, cooking, eating, sharing your biblical perspective with me in such a wonderful, real-life way. I sought your wisdom for years. What a wonderful way to spend my years as a new mother and wife...

Thank you Ellen... for being my first real girlfriend as a new wife and mother. You were like the big sister I never had.

I remember all the holidays we ate in your dining room on Racquet Club Dr....with the beautiful dishes and fancy silver. You shared your home with humor and grace. We stayed, ate, giggled, talked, shared, and explored our ideas in your home as Carl and Bubba talked about politics and religion... soaking up your laughter and practicality. We shared your family and father-in-law..."Slick". Hearing about all the practical jokes your and Bubba's family was famous for. You even shared your Christmas turkey stuffing recipe with me!! I went from Pepperidge Farm packaged stuffing mix...to HOMEMADE!! Wow!

You shared your friends with me... and invited me to join Child Guidance Study Club where I met and became friends with other mothers and young wives. Your influence was such a positive one. I loved you and your family... You showed me how to be a great mother and care for my husband. You taught me how to get involved. You were a wonderful friend and mentor. I loved your practical nature and sense of humor You showed me how to love my childrens differences...because you exhibited the capacity to accept your own children's differences with such appreciation for their individuality... you made it seem effortless.

I remember finding out about your cancer scare... and how Nancy and I took you wig shopping... just in case the inevitable hair loss required a new hairdo. You went through that ordeal with such faith and grace... I was amazed at your composure and strength of character. Not surprising... because you had such an amazing relationship with God. You are such a pillar... you always have been. I am so proud of you.

Ellen... you will always be a special friend of mine. I hope you have the most wonderful day today... reading all these special love letters from your friends. I am thrilled that your kids have made this possible... telling you how we love you.

Perhaps this will also remind us that we need to get together... I would love to see you and your precious husband...our Bubba, and your grown children Stephen, Doug and Lydia and their spouses and your grandchildren. Please keep in touch and let me know when we might get together again. Believe it or not...our youngest, John is 18 and about to graduate from high school this year. He celebrates his Eagle Scout achievement next month. Perhaps we will see you then. I was planning to send you and Bill an invitation... Wow... 30 years goes by fast... hey... I mean 60 YEARS !! Better than ever, right??

Love, Love, Love you - and HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Rhonda

W. Gayle Martin, Jr.

What an achievement, congratulations on your 60th birthday! I think my earliest memories are of Stephen, Doug, and I running around your house in our dish towel "capes" pretending we were super heroes. Your patience with us jumping from the sofas (so we could fly) and running down the hall (to catch the bad guys) always made your house a fun place to play. Your wonderful smile and cheerful laugh was always inviting and warm, even when we might not have deserved it. As a young boy growing up I always felt like I had two homes, one with my Moody family and the other with the Zedler's. Thank you so much for all the football games in your front yard, for the driveway space you so willingly gave up so we had room to do our bike tricks, for the countless hours you let us spend playing ColecoVision, and most of all, the love and care you showed everyone that you so graciously shared your home with. Mrs. Zedler there aren't enough adjectives to describe how wonderful you are and how nice it is to know you, so I will just end with a simple "THANK YOU!"



W. Gayle Martin, Jr.